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May 07, 2004

Yes, I do know I'm going to Hell

Stuff I have read on various blogs and profiles that disturbs me:

“Johnny Depp is pretty hot for an old guy…”

--That hurts.

“I once ate 6 Oreos and threw up, I was so full.”

--Six Oreos? Shut the fuck up. I could eat six bags. I hate girls like this.

“[Stephen King is] A DUCKIN (sic) GREAT WRITER,ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE NEEDS TO BE SHOT..! Quite homely though...”

--Aversion to the word “fuckin’”? Dunno. But the note that Stephen King is homely…I’m sure he appreciates it.

“My favorite music: 3 Doors Down-They rock!”

--Need I say anything?

“My favorite author: Eric Nylund-Writes Halo books”

--A true connoisseur of literature.

“Neptunese! I teach you how to speak Neptune! (Not Real)”

--Gees. And all this time I thought it was!

“If you don't visit my blog then you are missing out on a lot of HALARIOUS stuff. I talk about things that have happened to me in the day. They are so halarious that you'll be laughing hard.”

--Unclear if this is meant to be a purposeful "halarious" misspelling. Either way, it irks me.

“…why I am here, corrupt the normal minds of little kids surfing the net (uh, I sound creepy…)”

--Yep. Ya do.

“If anyone knows how to hack an AOL account, email me. It can’t be that hard.”

--Um, OK.

“i am a hardcore indigo girls fan. hardcore, i said. first of all, i am not one of those annoying new fans. i have loved them since 1989 and am still going strong. i have been to over 70 indigo girls shows, have over 300 IG bootlegs, have seen "the girls" in several states, met many of my friends through the IG fan circuit, and plan my vacations and holidays around their tour schedule.”

--While this one is a little long, you have read the whole thing to really understand how big an Indigo Girls fan she is. Hardcore. Really.

“Proverbs 17:17 "Let the women keep silent in the churches; for they are not permited (sic) to speak, but let them subject themselves, just as the Law also says"-1 Cor 14:34 Why don't some churches get that?!”

--Get what? Misogyny?

I’d like to thank all those people who wrote…ah…interesting bits and pieces in their blogs that I found fucking hilarious. All guilty parties will remain anonymous. To see more creepy, obnoxious, and stupid blogs and websites, check out Losers.org. Highly entertaining. Especially if you’re really judgmental. Which I am.

PS--I am well aware this is the saddest of all blogs, not even being able to come up with my own material...but see my earlier post about this crappy week and have pity on me.

Posted by Ensie at May 7, 2004 07:20 PM


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