« Shut the Hell Up and Go Away Already! | Main | Julia Stiles-Centric Universe »

April 02, 2004

Does the sign on my forehead say "IDIOTS LINE UP HERE"?

God, I hate stupid people. And they’re freakin’ everywhere. Sometimes I think they’re following me. You’ll notice that I work in a retail environment, and that many of the stupid people I come across are customers. Examples of recent stupidity:

At home this afternoon--

Neighbor stupidity: “Is my trailer blocking your driveway? Did you want to park now?” (see previous entry for more trailer information and irritation)

Me: “No, no. It’s just MY driveway. It’s fine! I’ll park a few blocks away.” (note the sarcasm in my voice as I continued to wait until he finally moved!)

At work--

Customer stupidity: “Is my order in yet?”

Me: “Not yet…remember three days ago when I said your order would be here in 7 to 10 business days?”

Checking the messages--

Answering Machine stupidity: (left earlier today, caller ID shows that this person has called 5 times in the last two days and left one message) “Hi, um, this is 5-S Communications, please call me back.”

Me: (I called back, curious as to why they keep calling and leaving weirdly anonymous messages) “Yes, you called me and left a message?”

5-S Communications(?): Oh, hi, do you have computer keyboards for sale?”

Me: “I’m sorry, who is this?”

5-S Communications: “Oh, I think I have the wrong number.”

Me: “Uh yeah. You may have noticed that our message says ‘Hi, you’ve reached Ensie and Frinklin, leave a message’, not ‘Random Computer Parts Store’. Please stop calling.”

At work, again—

Customer Stupidity: “Can I get the extra discount from the sale?”

Answer: “No, that sale actually ended 5 days ago.”

Customer (now irritated): “Yeah, I know, but can I still get the discount?”

Answer: “No.” (hello?)

Stupid customer approaches cash register—

Me: “Hi, I can help you here. Is that going to be all for you today?”

Customer (giving me the “duh” look: “Why would I have come to the cash register if I wasn’t ready to pay? Sheesh!” (He actually said “sheesh”)

I approach cash register at another retail outlet to pay for pajama pants ($10) ON MY BIRTHDAY—

Cashier: “I need to see your ID with your credit card.”

Me (showing driver’s license): “Okay, here you go.”

Cashier: “That’s not you!”

Me: “Uh, yes, it is. I had blue hair for several years. It’s grown out now.”

Cashier (grabbing wallet from my hand): “Are you sure?”

Me (grabbing wallet back): “Yes. I’m sure.”

Cashier (skeptically, the last part muttered under her breath): “Okaaaaay, if you say so.”

Did I mention that this occurred ON MY BIRTHDAY?? Is that even allowed?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have weird shit like this happen to me all the time. Do I have some strange magnetic field that makes people react stupidly around me? Or do I just unconsciously seek out the idiots in life? Only time will tell.

Posted by Ensie at April 2, 2004 06:25 PM


Post a comment

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)

Remember me?