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September 01, 2004

Alan Keyes is such an idiot

Found at Drudge Report (God help me):

Alan Keyes, the Republican candidate for a vacant U.S. Senate seat in Illinois, said Tuesday that Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter Mary is a "selfish hedonist" because she is a lesbian.

His comments came during an interview with SIRIUS satellite radio.

Keyes said: "The essence of ... family life remains procreation. If we embrace homosexuality as a proper basis for marriage, we are saying that it's possible to have a marriage state that in principal excludes procreation and is based simply on the premise of selfish hedonism."

Asked whether that meant Mary Cheney "is a selfish hedonist," Keyes said: "That goes by definition. Of course she is."

Aside from the totally unnecessary low blow at Mary Cheney; does Mr. Keyes mean to imply that infertile people shouldn't be allowed to get married either, as they are not able to procreate?

Damn you! You selfish hedonistic infertiles!

(Frinklin pointed out that people beyond child-bearing age would also be exempt from marriage--selfish hedonistic old people!)

Posted by Ensie at September 1, 2004 08:33 PM


Selfish, hedonistic old people? I certainly hope to be one someday.

Posted by: frinklin at September 1, 2004 10:29 PM

Keyes has really gone 'round the bend. More accurately, he's driven all the way around the mountain is coming 'round for a second pass at the bend.

Posted by: Richard at September 2, 2004 12:43 AM

People with 50-year-old attitudes towards homosexuals drive me mad. As if people are going to become extinct because homosexuals marry. The world's already overpopulated - what the hell are these old-fashioned idiots worried about?

Posted by: Dawn at September 2, 2004 11:28 AM

Is it possible that Alan Keyes will be the first major-party candidate in a prominent race to go zero votes? Is he actively trying to alienate everyone now? I don't understand him.

Posted by: Mediocre Fred at September 2, 2004 01:50 PM

I would totally not vote for him if I lived in Illinois. Can a person get negative votes?

Posted by: ensie at September 3, 2004 09:30 PM

Hmmm... I guess selfish hedonists would also have to include those with VOLUNTARY infertility (temporary or permanent birth control - pills, condoms, vasectomies, tubal ligations...) and hey! Come to think of it, our birth rate isn't up to par with, say, India! That's it, I'm moving to Illinois to campaign for Keyes. Population boom or bust! (I bet the Vatican likes him too, no?)

Posted by: Katie at September 6, 2004 09:45 AM

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