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May 06, 2005
Until now, I had no story that contained the phrase, "Then the stripper showed up."
I'm finally getting around to writing about the stripper. Which is something I was hoping to avoid. But really, when a stripper comes into your life, you have to deal with it.
Last Saturday night I attended a work friend's 21st birthday. This was pretty exciting in my world, as I'm usually in bed by 9pm. We actually drove the 40 minutes to the birthday girl's apartment after dark, and planned to leave after an hour or so. We got home at 3am.
Becuase it was a 21st birthday, alcohol was the gift of choice. I contributed the making for Buttery Nipple (aka "Slippery Nipple") shots and a six pack of hard cider. Upon arrival I wrote my porn name (Brandy Hermasillo) on my cup and did a couple of double shots to loosen up. Good thing.
Then the stripper showed up.
The apartment had a kitchen separated from the dining area by a bar and a living room, all in the same general area. I pressed myself against the far wall of the kitchen, holding my husband planted in front of me, while the stripper did his thing to Nelly's "Hot In Herrre". I'm really a one penis sort of girl. I had no desire to get any closer.
The unsuspecting birthday girl had a wad of dollar bills in her hand when he first appeared. First came off the fireman's coat. Then the helmet. Then the pants. Once he was down to the boxer/briefs and the birthday girl had gone from red to purple, a sudden attack of modesty came upon him and he declined to go all the way down to the neon green thong. It's not that he wasn't pretty, but the idea of a stranger coming into a room of friends and removing all his clothes was a little, well, odd. Certainly not sexy. Mostly just funny.
As he got dressed before leaving, he pulled on a shirt with print on the front. I noted the name of a prominent gay bar in town. I found out later that b-day girl's best friend had paid $150 for 15 minutes of half-naked gay giration. Hardly worth it if you ask me.
PS--Dad, since you just told me tonight that you read my blog for the first time today, indicating that you might read it again in the future, please note that this is not the sort of thing I usually do on a Saturday night. I'm usually at the lesbian bars.
Posted by Ensie at May 6, 2005 09:00 PM
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