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June 03, 2005

Not Crazy!

A play in four acts:


Thursday. Propane is on. All seems well. Showers taken today = 2 (1 Ensie, 1 Frinklin). Mood at Ensie's house: worried.

Frinklin: [entering laundry room] Do you smell propane?
Ensie: [also entering laundry room] Definitely. Lets call The Boonies Propane Co.
Frinklin: I'll turn the propane off at the tank.

The propane to the house is turned off and the propane company is called. Frinklin is assured that it will be a priority Friday morning.


Friday. Propane has been off for 12 hours. Showers taken today = 0. Mood at Ensie's house: annoyed.

Ensie: [to Frinklin on phone] I thought they said it would be a priority. It's 10:30 and I haven't heard anything.
Frinklin: You should call them again.

Ensie: [to The Boonies Propane Co. on phone] Are you sending someone out? Our propane has been off for 12 hours...
The Boonies Propane Co. Secretary: Um, we don't check appliances. You need to call a repairman.
Ensie: Really? You were just here a few weeks ago checking our stove?
Boonies: Um, we charge $48 per hour to check for leaks.
Ensie: I wasn't charged last time.
Boonies: Um, let me check with my manager [two minutes elapse]. I don't know why you weren't charged last time--it was a billing error.
Ensie: What? I'll call my landlord. This is ridiculous.
Boonies: OK. Thank you for calling, goodbye!
Ensie: [to dialtone] I hate you.


Propane has been off for 13 hours. Showers taken today = 0. Mood at Ensie's house: PO'd.

Landlord (aka Ensie's Mom): [to Ensie on phone] They won't what?!?
Ensie: I know!
Landlord: I'm calling them. Idiots.
Ensie: Let me know what you find out.

Ten minutes pass.

Landlord: I told them to get out there and check for the leak. We'll just pay whatever. How can they NOT check for leaks? What if you die? Then what will they say?
Ensie: Exactly.
Landlord: I called The Other Propane Company and they told me that they will check out leaks for free and said you don't have a big enough propane tank, and that may be why you are ALWAYS running out of propane. We're switching companies once this is sorted out.
Ensie: Thank you! I hate The Boonies Propane Company.


The Boonies Propane Company Guy arrives at 4pm. Propane has been shut off for 18 hours. Showers taken today = 0. Mood at Ensie's house: grim.

Propane Guy: Where did you smell gas?
Ensie: The laundry room.
Propane Guy: Well, I'll turn on the propane. Let's check it out.

Propane guy starts the propane flowin' and finds...nothing.

Ensie: I swear I'm not crazy. My husband and I both smelled it last night. We cleared out the room with a fan and then closed it up and smelled it again. Please don't think I'm crazy.
Propane Guy: Oh yeah. Didn't I just check your stove a month ago?
Ensie: [voice rising] Um, yes, and I know you didn't find anything then either, but it was there last night!

Propane Guy humors Ensie and takes apart the dryer and checks all the connections. No leak is found.

Propane Guy: Well, if you smell anything more, turn off the propane and call us.
Ensie: [under breath] Will you be out in less than 12 hours next time?
Propane Guy: What?
Ensie: Nothing. Not crazy! I swear!
Propane Guy: Sure. Call if you smell anything. Actually, call if you smell PROPANE.
Ensie: Oh ha-ha. Thanks.

Propane Guy exits.


Damn it. I can't wait to move.

Posted by Ensie at June 3, 2005 05:40 PM


I just know the new propane company is going to find a problem. Just wait and see.

Posted by: eden at June 3, 2005 10:09 PM

I'm sure they will.

Posted by: ensie at June 4, 2005 09:21 AM

Great post.The best advice I can give to anyone .free software download

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