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November 11, 2005

I Know I Promised...

...to write more. And I really did mean to.

Then I got hit with the homesick stick--whack!

And then the depression stick--whack! whack!

Then the panic attacks about the new job--whack! whack! whack!

I ended up curled up on the couch for four days, crying whenever anyone (Frinklin) came near me. There was carrying around of the comforter as though it were a toga. Hair went unwashed. Teeth unbrushed. It was all around ugly. It's actually still pretty ugly.

I've managed to find a doctor who has prescribed me some meds that have worked well in the past. If they don't work this time I'm jumping to a "mood stabilizer." That's a little scary, so I have some real incentive to feel better on the drug I'm currently on. Three people have asked if I'm feeling better now that I'm back on meds. FYI everyone--they a few days (and sometimes several weeks) to kick in, but I appreciate your asking.

I've tried to write about this several times without much success. I get almost to the end and think about how whiney and silly this whole thing sounds. As I told Violet the other day, "Wah, I bought a house, and I got a promotion, and a raise." But the fact that I've been sobbing about these things instead of excited has really helped me to see that it was time for some professional help.

So, that's why you've seen an excessive amount of pictures and cat blogging over the last week or so. I'd like to post more pictures, so I don't feel too badly about that. I'm working on getting out of the actual house this weekend so hopefully I'll have more blog-fodder soon.

Posted by Ensie at November 11, 2005 06:54 PM

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New house & new job = sooper-stress. Just b/c some people call it "positive" doesn't mean it should be good for you by definition. Here's hoping the meds do their job and you find some kindness at BH&WP ;)

Posted by: eden at November 12, 2005 10:33 AM

hang in there...you're going to make it...i know it.
thinking good thoughts for you.

Posted by: meagan at November 15, 2005 08:32 AM

Hang in there, darlin'... I've been through a dark patch of my own lately, and I know you'll pull through. I'm thinking of you!

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