« M@ry K@ying my Shit Up! | Main | Dog #1 »

July 20, 2006

Fifty Percent

Have you ever had a moment when you begin talking about something which leads to something else, only to become another topic, finally dissolving into some underlying issue you didn't know you were so distraught about in the first place?

With the back problems, scoliosis weirdness, carpal tunnel (going to the orthopedic surgeon in a week!), I've been cracking jokes about turning thirty regularly. It's irritating to feel like I'm already breaking down before I've even left my twenties. I don't feel especially traumatized about moving into another decade of existence, but it is definitely a milestone and for a lot of people, apparently me as well, it means you are supposed to be a little more grown up. No more bank of Dad. Taking responsibility for the choices I have made, and hopefully knowing a little bit more about myself than I did ten years ago. I don't think those are huge goals, but they are my goals at the precipice of thirty.

I do have a general angst about growing older and a fear of death. I blame my parents and their early insistence that when I accepted Jesus into my heart at five years old that I would never face the fires of hell as a Christian. Then when I came out as a lesbian at 19 suddenly I stood on shaky ground and the Lake of Fire opened before me once again. But I digress...

One of the things I did expect to do before I turned thirty was have at least one child. I was my parent's first child, born when my mother was 29, which always sounded so old to have a first kid. It hasn't been until the last few years that I really felt capable of even potentially being a parent. I know you rarely ever feel 100% ready, but I definitely knew I wasn't ready at 22 years of age, partying into the wee hours, getting 15 minutes of sleep, and pretending not to nap at my desk the entire next day. Kids would have put a crimp in that lifestyle.

Somewhere along the line I switched my thinking. Instead of a party of 60, lets invite over six people. Instead of a keg, lets have wine. I'll skip the pot and coke lines, we'll just sit and chat, thanks. While this may sound a whole lot boring, it increased my daylight productivity considerably and allowed me to have actual conversations and relationships not based on questions such as, "Where's the bathroom at?!?" screamed over bad dance-techno.

So flash forward to me, sitting in the therapist's office on Wednesday morning, in tears discussing my lost relatives who will never see my unborn children as well as the living relatives who are simply dying for Frinklin and I to have kids but are nearly biting their tongues off in an effort to stay quiet. The therapist's response is this:

Therapist: "So, it sounds like you do want kids then? And Frinklin wants kids?"

Me: "God, yes. We thought we would have them already."

Therapist: "Then have them!"

Me: "But...work...and...um...what would I do...uh..."

Therapist: "Look, people have kids all the time. You just have them. No one is ever really ready for them. Stuff works out. You own a house. You are relatively financially secure. If you have to work, you have to work. If you don't, you don't. If your relatives can help, they will. You have a good job. You work part time at home. You work for a progressive company. Frinklin will eventually be working at home. Your Father-In-Law works at home. Your parents are looking at moving up here. You'll figure it out! Go have some kids!"

Me: "Um, OK."


If only it were that simple.

Once upon a time my Mom informed me that I had a weird genetic disorder when I was born and that I may need to look into it before having kids. Over the years I've mentioned the name of this disorder to most of my doctors, all of which have shrugged and said, "Never heard of it, but you seem healthy. I wouldn't worry about it." Apparently that's the wrong answer.

After researching Incontinentia Pigmenti (IP) on the web for a couple of hours last night, it seems that I could have serious problems with a pregnancy. IP is a very rare genetic disorder (in fact, it's part of the National Organization for Rare Disorders). The reason none of my doctors have heard of it is because most of them will never see it in their lifetime. When I was born I visited doctor after doctor just so that they could see what IP looked like, because they would likely never see it again (but just in case).

IP affects the X chromosome of a developing fetus and males are miscarried 100% of the time. I have a 50% chance of having a normal child, boy or girl, and a 50% chance of having an IP child, boy or girl. If it is a girl, she may be relatively normal, like me, with almost no permanent side effects. Or, she could have a myriad of nightmarish problems that encompasses pretty much every birth defect imaginable. Either way, the first year or two of life involves a series of plague-like rashes of boils, blisters, warts, and pustules. Pretty. I'll be finding out the details baby's first plague on the phone with my Mom this weekend while completing a questionnaire about myself for the Incontinentia Pigmenti International Foundation.

So now there may be rounds of genetic counseling and testing. Fortunately the testing itself is free, and for your convenience, there are three labs available in the world that will test for the NEMO (IP) gene. One in Texas. One in England. And one in Italy. Weirdly enough, there is a genetic specialist that sits on the IP International Foundation Advisory Board located in Ann Arbor, MI, where I will be in just over a week. I don't know if I should call or not.

Updates on this fun topic as time goes on. I'm sure this is fascinating reading for everyone not effected by a completely rare genetic disorder. In a conversation with my sister, Katie, this afternoon she made me laugh, I know exactly how you feel. Everyone wants to give money to breast cancer and muscular dystrophy, and whatnot. No one wants to give money to those of us with epilepsy. It's like, hello?! Here I am, down on the floor waving and shaking�

Posted by Ensie at July 20, 2006 08:31 PM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Fifty Percent:


How did your mother know you had it? Was she in the same situation you're facing (that you were in the 50%?)?

I would definitely make that call. That's fate whispering in your ear ;)

Posted by: eden at July 22, 2006 06:44 AM

Just stumbled on your blog and love the tag line at the top. It was cracking me up. :)

Posted by: Shawn at July 25, 2006 04:07 PM

A person necessarily lend a hand to make critically posts I might state. That is the very first time I frequented your website page and up to now? I surprised with the research you made to make this actual post amazing. Excellent task!

Posted by: UGG Infants Erin Boots 5202 at November 16, 2011 10:50 AM

What's Happening i'm new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It positively helpful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to contribute & assist other customers like its aided me. Great job.

Posted by: Handbags Wholesale at November 18, 2011 02:32 AM

Really great article with very interesting information. You might want to follow up to this topic

Posted by: SebastianCalhoun at November 23, 2011 02:16 AM

Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.

Posted by: Replica Chanel Bags at November 26, 2011 03:48 AM

I was wondering if this really is accurate, i've to alter my point of view. Due to the fact here in Germany, there are plenty of other opinions in this theory. Thanks a great deal for this brainer!

Posted by: Cheap Gucci at November 27, 2011 07:06 PM

I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I¡¯ll bookmark your blog and check once more right here frequently. I'm somewhat certain I will learn plenty of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the following!

Posted by: breaking bad full episode at December 1, 2011 12:34 AM

We can make further discussion via yahoo messenger. Your post is great, I had read and stand by within your site for a week, I use this for my research. We can make another conclusion for this valuable post.

Posted by: LV Handbags Sale at December 3, 2011 12:24 PM

Fantastic write-up, I am typical visitor of one's internet web page, preserve up the exceptional operate, and It's going to be a regular visitor for a long time

Posted by: LV Handbags On Sale at December 5, 2011 03:43 AM

I had a dream I was bauws , I woke up still bauws

Posted by: playstation portable at December 6, 2011 02:37 AM

Thank you for this great post, I've emailed the url to my friend, sure he will turn into a standard viewer soon enough also.

Posted by: Cheap Prada Bags at December 6, 2011 04:15 AM

It turned out an exceptionally nice theme! Just wanna give you thanks in the data you could have fanned. Just continue composing these kinds of post.

Posted by: canada goose at December 9, 2011 08:59 PM

I adore this website, will certainly come back again. Please carry on creating quality articles.

Posted by: Selene Mowris at December 21, 2011 02:44 AM

What's your email? I have some quetions :)

Posted by: dresses for less at January 5, 2012 01:50 PM


Posted by: dresses to wear to a wedding at January 6, 2012 03:17 AM

Why i can't see the pictures on your blog ?

Posted by: dresses for mother of the groom at January 7, 2012 11:09 PM

Why i can't see the pictures on your blog ?

Posted by: dresses to wear to a wedding at January 8, 2012 06:55 AM

What's your email? I have some quetions :)

Posted by: dresses for sale at January 8, 2012 12:26 PM

Why i can't see the pictures on your blog ?

Posted by: dresses for women at January 8, 2012 09:33 PM

Can i bookmark your blog for personal?

Posted by: dresses for plus size women at January 9, 2012 01:39 AM

Can i bookmark your blog for personal?

Posted by: dresses for girls at January 9, 2012 07:10 AM

Can i bookmark your blog for personal?

Posted by: dresses to wear to a wedding as a guest at January 10, 2012 02:07 AM

their can be described as dilemma while in the first location

Posted by: Climbing Mount Everest at January 17, 2012 09:54 PM

Very nice post, i certainly love this website, keep on it

Posted by: Carolyn Loerwald at January 18, 2012 09:24 AM

You made some decent points there. I looked on the internet for the issue and found most individuals will go along with with your website.

Posted by: Angelina Fugua at January 18, 2012 01:05 PM

I need to to i appreciate this great read!! I undoubtedly enjoying every little part of it I??ve you bookmarked to consider new issues you set up

Posted by: Tibet tour operator at January 27, 2012 08:28 AM

I feel tremendously encouraged along with your article writing abilities and also with the particular structure in your webpage. Is this a paid subject or did you modify it yourself? Any way, keep up the good top quality article writing, it is rare to see a good blog site such as this one nowadays..

Posted by: Kerry at February 2, 2012 02:02 AM

Hello, glad i ran across your websites. It forced me to be to comprehend this issue slightly better.

Posted by: tibet visa at February 2, 2012 10:38 PM

A formidable share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing a bit evaluation on this. And he in reality purchased me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the deal with! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If attainable, as you turn out to be experience, would you thoughts updating your blog with extra details? It is highly useful for me. Massive thumb up for this blog put up!

Posted by: Lucy Vinegar at February 9, 2012 10:03 PM

Thank you, I have recently been looking for information about this topic for ages and yours is the greatest I have discovered so far. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?

Posted by: Erasmo Keasey at February 11, 2012 12:13 AM

Can you tell us more about this? I'd want to find out more details.

Posted by: pure dkny bedding at February 11, 2012 12:08 PM

Your means of explaining everything in this article is truly fastidious, all be able to simply be aware of it, Thanks a lot.

Posted by: Maybell Heppe at February 13, 2012 11:24 AM

I'm truly enjoying the design and layout of your site. It's a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Outstanding work!

Posted by: dog food storage at February 15, 2012 05:04 AM

What's up to all, it’s really a fastidious for me to go to see this web page, it includes useful Information.

Posted by: Darrell Palazzola at February 17, 2012 09:16 AM

Hello there, I found your website via Google while searching for a related topic, your web site came up, it looks great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

Posted by: Gabrielle Weirauch at February 18, 2012 12:36 AM

I'm really impressed together with your writing skills as smartly as with the format to your weblog. Is that this a paid topic or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent high quality writing, it¡¦s uncommon to look a great weblog like this one today..

Posted by: Angeles Teichert at February 19, 2012 06:29 AM

It’s hard to find knowledgeable people on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

Posted by: idees diakosmisi at February 23, 2012 05:47 AM

Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!…

Posted by: diakosmhsh at February 23, 2012 05:57 AM

Thanks for a very informative site. Where else may I get that kind of info written in such an ideal method? I've a mission that I'm simply now operating on, and I've been at the look out for such information.

Posted by: Arden Shope at February 23, 2012 05:07 PM

I do agree with all of the ideas you have presented in your post. They're really convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too short for newbies. Could you please extend them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.

Posted by: Guillermo Lasley at February 24, 2012 05:21 AM

I am glad for writing to let you be aware of what a impressive discovery my wife's princess experienced browsing your web page. She picked up plenty of pieces, which include what it's like to possess an incredible teaching style to have folks clearly know precisely a number of hard to do topics. You actually did more than my expected results. Thank you for churning out these important, trusted, educational as well as fun guidance on the topic to Gloria.

Posted by: Delilah Karma at February 25, 2012 01:32 PM

Wow, this piece of writing is pleasant, my younger sister is analyzing such things, thus I am going to tell her.

Posted by: Scott Kasahara at March 3, 2012 10:48 AM

Hiya, I am really glad I've found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and net stuff and this is actually annoying. A good site with interesting content, this is what I need. Thanks for making this web site, and I'll be visiting again. Do you do newsletters? I Cant find it.

Posted by: Beijing massage happy ending at March 9, 2012 05:28 AM

You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched everywhere and simply could not locate it. What an ideal web site.

Posted by: Beijing day trips great wall at March 11, 2012 07:01 PM

I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You’re incredible! Thanks!

Posted by: Healthy muffin recipes at March 12, 2012 06:49 PM

you happen to be actually quantity 1 admin your blogging is remarkable i usually test your blog site i am certain you might be the top

Posted by: sikiş izle at March 12, 2012 11:11 PM

Posts like this brihgetn up my day. Thanks for taking the time.

Posted by: samsung un46d8000 at March 13, 2012 04:59 AM

I¡¯ve recently started a blog, and the info you provide on this web site has helped me tremendously. Thanx for all of your time & work.

Posted by: Loura Brockel at March 20, 2012 09:56 PM

WHiBSiC Buy Phentermine

Posted by: Ellsworth Smyly at March 23, 2012 04:07 PM

you've got an ideal weblog here! would you wish to make some invite posts on my weblog?

Posted by: Coupon page at March 26, 2012 12:23 PM

Great article! I loved the insight and advice given. Also, your article writing style is very fun to read. If you have enough time kindly take a look at my new webpage and tell me what you think.

Posted by: Credit Keeper at March 27, 2012 10:31 PM

That was a good read. I will be back. Thanks

Posted by: Herminia Wilfahrt at April 3, 2012 11:09 AM

I really enjoyed your blog! I put it in my favorites so I can come back again. I found it on Bing.

Posted by: Steve Hernandes at April 4, 2012 03:29 PM

I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post's to be just what I'm looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn't mind composing a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome blog!

Posted by: mcdavid wrist brace at April 6, 2012 07:26 AM

Hey outstanding blog! Does running a blog similar to this take a great deal of work? I've virtually no expertise in programming but I was hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyways, if you have any ideas or techniques for new blog owners please share. I know this is off subject but I just had to ask. Thanks a lot!

Posted by: cost of car insurance for teenagers at April 7, 2012 08:12 PM

I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?

Posted by: compare car insurance online at April 8, 2012 05:33 AM

Good day! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be ok. I'm undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

Posted by: car insurance quote comparison at April 8, 2012 05:49 AM

Does your website have a contact page? I'm having trouble locating it but, I'd like to send you an e-mail. I've got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.

Posted by: classic car insurance florida at April 8, 2012 11:10 AM

I want to express my thanks to the writer just for rescuing me from this particular setting. Right after browsing through the search engines and coming across solutions which were not pleasant, I believed my life was over. Living devoid of the answers to the problems you have solved by means of your main report is a serious case, as well as those which could have badly damaged my entire career if I hadn't come across the blog. Your expertise and kindness in controlling everything was important. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had not encountered such a solution like this. It's possible to at this time relish my future. Thanks a lot very much for your reliable and sensible help. I won't think twice to refer your site to any person who would like counselling on this subject matter.

Posted by: Promo code at April 21, 2012 11:03 AM

very nice put up, i definitely love this website, carry on it

Posted by: Promo codes at April 22, 2012 05:21 PM

I would like to show some thanks to the writer for bailing me out of this problem. Right after surfing through the world-wide-web and finding advice that were not powerful, I believed my entire life was gone. Existing without the solutions to the issues you have resolved as a result of your good posting is a critical case, as well as the ones that would have in a negative way damaged my career if I hadn't encountered your web blog. Your good talents and kindness in handling all areas was useful. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not discovered such a solution like this. It's possible to at this point look forward to my future. Thanks for your time very much for this impressive and effective guide. I will not hesitate to suggest your blog to any individual who would like assistance about this subject.

Posted by: Anna Harmon at April 27, 2012 02:03 PM

I actually stumbled over here by a various page and also thought I might as well examine things out. I like a few things i see so i am merely following anyone. Look forward to checking out your web page again.

Posted by: Alexis Sheridan at May 10, 2012 05:26 AM

Aw, this was a very nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and under no circumstances appear to get one thing done.

Posted by: Enfamil coupon website at May 11, 2012 02:56 AM

Good post. I be taught something more difficult on completely different blogs everyday. It'll always be stimulating to learn content material from other writers and practice a little something from their store. I’d choose to make use of some with the content material on my weblog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually I’ll provide you with a hyperlink on your net blog. Thanks for sharing.

Posted by: Suzanne Lane at May 13, 2012 11:02 AM

I happen to be writing to make you be aware of of the beneficial experience my friend's girl undergone visiting the blog. She came to find a lot of pieces, including what it's like to possess an excellent helping style to get folks without difficulty master various grueling matters. You really surpassed people's expected results. Thank you for producing those warm and friendly, trustworthy, explanatory and easy tips on this topic to Lizeth.

Posted by: This coupon page at May 16, 2012 09:03 AM

This web site is mostly a stroll-by for all the data you needed about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse here, and you’ll positively uncover it.

Posted by: Coupon at May 16, 2012 01:38 PM

It’s hard to seek out knowledgeable individuals on this topic, but you sound like you recognize what you’re talking about! Thanks

Posted by: Freshpair coupon code 2012 at May 17, 2012 02:16 PM

Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!…

Posted by: Zina Mcgillen at May 22, 2012 04:27 AM

After examine a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I actually like your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and shall be checking back soon. Pls try my website online as properly and let me know what you think.

Posted by: Rachael at June 1, 2012 12:32 AM

very good post, i actually love this website, keep on it

Posted by: Allen Harper at June 9, 2012 09:12 AM

I needed to write you one tiny word in order to say thank you yet again for your lovely guidelines you've featured above. This is simply extremely open-handed with people like you to provide freely all that a number of us would have distributed as an electronic book to earn some profit for themselves, mostly since you could have tried it if you ever wanted. These tactics in addition acted as the easy way to be aware that other people have a similar eagerness just as my personal own to understand somewhat more in regard to this problem. I'm certain there are some more pleasant periods ahead for individuals that browse through your blog.

Posted by: Hershey printable coupon at June 9, 2012 10:46 PM

I am often to blogging and i actually admire your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I'm going to bookmark your site and keep checking for new information.

Posted by: Cody at June 10, 2012 04:38 PM

Thank you so much for providing individuals with an extremely spectacular opportunity to read articles and blog posts from this website. It is often very beneficial plus full of a lot of fun for me personally and my office colleagues to visit your blog particularly thrice weekly to find out the fresh items you will have. Of course, we are certainly satisfied with your sensational tips you give. Selected 4 facts on this page are undoubtedly the most impressive I've ever had.

Posted by: Blue dog food printable at June 11, 2012 12:17 AM

Good day! I simply wish to give an enormous thumbs up for the nice information you've gotten right here on this post. I will be coming again to your weblog for more soon.

Posted by: Pizza hut sale at June 12, 2012 07:15 PM

WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share..extra wait .. …

Posted by: Folgers Coffee at July 9, 2012 07:50 AM

Baylion said on September 20, 2012

Posted by: Rosalee Neveux at December 5, 2012 03:28 PM

Post a comment

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)

Remember me?