Both Hands

That's hot!

I am so sexy right now. Wearing a velcro band around your pelvis as tight as possible is super-hot.

I started physical therapy today with an "alternative back care" office. My Pysical Therapist works primarily on realignment of the sacroiliac joint, which joins your pelvis to the base of your spine. He operates on the assumption that most back pain is due to this joint being "dislocated" or misaligned. All I know is that I can move better today than I have in several months.

I do get to wear the sacroiliac joint belt, which is exactly what it sound like; a belt that holds the joint(s) in place once they are aligned. Twenty-four/seven baby. All the time. I signed off on all sorts of proprietary information clauses, so I don't want to get into too much detail. But if you have any lower back pain, read this.

Interestingly enough, this whole thing goes full circle back to my appointments over a year ago with Dr. Chiropractor. He diagnosed me with a rotated right hip which shortened my right leg slightly. Apparently, the lift in my shoe isn't doing shit, and all this time I really needed someone to realign my sacroiliac joint to actually FIX the problem. Because it's gone on for, oh, almost thirty years, it's started to cause some pain that needs real attention.

I have two more appointments this week and will apparently be learning how to "self correct" myself. Currently that entails being far too aware of my body and adjusting the band, stretching to check the alignment of my joint, and squeezing a cherry ball between my knees. I'm crossing my fingers for results by next week as my family (minus sister Katie, bummer) will be on a week-long whirlwind trip to the Pacific Northwest.

Hot

How Percy spent the day:

What you can't see is the giant box fan in the window set on high.

Omelet a la Subaru

Dear Asshole,

Was it really necessary to egg my brand new car last night to celebrate your graduation or some other anticlimactic event? I haven't even made a payment on it yet. I've never owned a brand new car before. Finding several eggs glued to the side this morning...lets just say you're lucky I don't know who you are. Even better, I had two appointments that kept me from getting the nasty mess removed until this afternoon. As the weather is warming up, the eggs had solidified and bonded to the paint by the time I got to the carwash.

Ah, the carwash. I don't know where there is a hand wash in Tacoma, so I had to take it the Pink Elephant. My brand new car got to travel through the car washing tunnel. If you've ever had a new car, which I doubt, you'll know that the car wash tunnel scratches the hell out of the clear coat finish on a new car. In addition to the big scratches where the eggs met car, the finish is now marred. You may not be able to see it, but I can. Oh--and the guy who dried off the car? He used a RAZOR to pick the stuck-on eggshells off, resulting in some great gouges in the paint. So, again, thanks for that!

You are a total asshole and I hope that bad car karma follows you the rest of your days. May everything you own be a lemon and should you ever have a brand new car, I hope some dickwad eggs the hell out of it.

Fuck you,

Ensie

Gnome-Be-Gone

We had a bit of a gnome problem in our neighborhood until we got Gnome-Be-Gone! Now we simply watch as those annoying little freaks are carted away, never to be seen again.

Available at BKB & Company in downtown Tacoma (or any number of places online).

Hi, and you are...?

After taking those two weeks off from life (yeah, right!) I'm back again.

I swear I meant to post, I just, um...well...(mumbled excuse, mumbled excuse). The truth is, it's really taken a back seat to life. But I do have a fun story for everyone about my banking adventures this past weekend.

I've mentioned before that Frinklin's parents have been extremely generous in fulfilling his late grandmother's wishes regarding her will. This Friday we received the inheritance checks and deposited one check immediately via ATM, fully aware that the bank would likely place a hold on the funds for several days. That's how banks work--they choose not to take advantage of the instant withdrawl check technology that is out there to make sure your funds are available to YOU. Oh no, the bank takes the money, hold it for a few days to collect any available interest, then forwards it onto you when they are ready. Just because it's your money doesn't mean you should have instant access to it, OK? Let's not get crazy.

Lets jump ahead to the next day, Saturday. I head off to the bank with Frinklin to deposit the second check of $5,000. Because we want the funds available sooner and want $800 in cash for shopping that day we go into the bank, something I haven't done in years. Initially, all systems appear go, when suddenly the teller calls over a manager to view the transaction. The manager fiddles with the computer for a good 5 minutes before turning to me and stating that the bank cannot make the funds available today and I cannot receive any portion of the check as cash. When I ask why, I am told that my account shows that there is "significant risk" to the bank as they are unable to verify funds.

I tried very hard to remain calm. Really, I did. Upon hearing their lame-ass excuse, I request that they call Washington Mutual to verify funds. I work in retail. We do this pretty regularly. It's not difficult. It is dawn ing on me that my bank could give a rat's ass what type of service I receive. A call is placed and ten minutes later I am informed that they cannot verify the funds via phone as WaMu requires that the check writer be contacted by phone to OK the fund verification. What? I'm not asking for an account balance--just verifying that the check is good.

A little further background the history between my bank, Wells Fargo, and I. I've had my checking account since 1994--that's 12 years. I've had my share of overdrawn issues and a couple bounced checks in my late teens and early twenties, but have direct deposited several thousand dollars into that account each month for years. Over twelve years we're talking a lot of money. I haven't bounced a check in over 8 years. I haven't had a late payment on my credit card ever. They just issued me a significant chunk of credit larger than the $800 I wanted in cash. And they're telling me that I am a "significant risk?" Bullshit. And I told them that. In fact, yelled it as I stormed out.

One trip to Washington Mutual to receive a cashier's check in the exact same dollar amount as the original check, and we are back at WF to attempt to re-deposit the check. No problem. Why, as a loyal customer of WF am I required to do the leg work when a simple phone call or computer verification system could do the same thing in seconds? WTF? I'm getting screwed.

So--I'm looking for some advice. Are credit unions better? Is the fact that they are non-profit make them any more service oriented as opposed to dollar focused? Do they play the same money games that banks do?

Thoughts?

Small Updates

I feel like that all I've been doing lately is dealing with various minor crises (crisises?) and praying that we'll someday be able to cover the costs of this past month. There has been good mixed with the bad, but I'm calling it a draw in terms of coming out ahead. To recap:

1. Frinklin's grandmother passed away.

2. Adopted Clyde.

3. Back pain and hand numbness/painful tingling requiring several doctor's visits, two visits to the lab to have blood drawn, and two X-rays. No diagnosis with Doctor #1.

3. Frinklin's parents generously fulfill late grandmother's inheritance wishes by granting us a small amount of their funds, allowing us to pay off the Beetle and put a down payment on the Tribeca.

4. The Jeffrey starts dripping blood. Two visits to the vet, one minor surgery, much bloodwork, several X-rays and ultrasounds, one liver biopsy and $1300 later we discover that there is no liver shunt, his organs are apparently normal, and he still has bladder stones. Why he has stones is still a mystery, and our best bet for finding out what to do next is to send the stones for analysis to a university study in Minnesota. The stone analysis is FREE. F-R-E-E. I love Dr. Awesome Vet, but next time can we do the free part first?

5. Results come back from the X-rays. Dr. Man continues to be unhelpful and Dr. Woman provides wrist braces and a partial diagnosis: carpal tunnel.

6. After further analysis of the X-rays I have been diagnosed with scoliosis, meaning that all those embarrassing tests I did in Jr. High were worthless! While I don't currently require a brace or surgery, my spine is slowly sliding to the right (BTW-thanks for never noticing this Dr. Chiropractor!)

7. The Frinklin/Ensie household purchases (well, finances) a chair-and-a-half after years of Ensie wanting one but never having the funds and the right chair model available at the right time. The chair-and-a-half must be backordered for 8 - 10 weeks as it has been discontinued and "it may not be available at all."

9. The floor model chair-and-a-half (and much wanted but not originally ordered) ottoman and couch all become available for delivery this week at a reduced price. Delivery scheduled for Friday. Now we just have to get rid of the two couches we currently have.

Can I just sleep through the next couple of weeks?

Live in the Seattle/Tacoma area? Can you pick up a couch or two on Friday? Both in good shape, one is a double bed sleeper sofa. Email ensie1(at)gmail.com for further details. Pictures available.