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April 10, 2006

My Teenage Self Would Hate Me

It's April and baseball season has started. For most people this means that they catch a few games here and there, and possibly follow their favorite team on the weekends. While growing up I religiously rolled my eyes and complained whenever baseball was on, "Daaaaad! This is boooorrriinnng. It's worse than golf/tennis!!" I have learned in the last few years that this is, in fact, NOT the correct way to watch baseball.

How to watch baseball (according to Frinklin):

1. Opening Day should be a national holiday.

2. Baseball must be on the television at all times. If, say, a movie is being watched on one television, then the other TV must be tuned to baseball. Preferably, the television should be set up so that one can push a minimal number of buttons in order to "toggle" between several baseball games.

3. All baseball game commercial breaks will be used to check scores of other baseball games.

4. Social schedules must be arranged around (Mariners) baseball games.

5. The MLB cable TV package showing EVERY game on at any hour is totally worth $200 and I am mean for not paying for it.

6. Baseball Tonight will be watched as often as possible, so as to stay up-to-date on all dealings that relate to baseball in any way.

I've been steadily dealing with baseball fever since, oh, February. Purchases of the Baseball America Prospect Handbook are made to be poured over constantly. The frenzy over hats reaches its peak, "This one? Or this one? What about this one? I can't decide! I love them all!"

I wake up to "Do you know what day it is?"

"Uh, no. Is it someone's birthday? Your grandma?"

"No! It's the day pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training!!"

I steadfastly refuse to watch any Spring Training games--I don't want to see any baseball until it's absolutely necessary. This year I started to relent, however. We attended the Mariners' opening day game. I've skipped reruns of The Office and Scrubs to see what happens in the 9th inning. I asked, "What's his Spring Training batting average?" while watching a game last week.

It's spreading. Pretty soon I'll be talking about VORP.

Posted by Ensie at April 10, 2006 06:46 PM

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Tracked on April 24, 2006 09:51 PM


You mean Frink doesn't spend the month of March oiling his glove, walking around saying "baaasebaaall" like zombies say "braaains," and telling small children about the glory of America's pastime? Oh wait, that's my house.

Glad to see you're back ;)

Posted by: Eden at April 11, 2006 05:25 AM

Posted by: imbsh at February 24, 2010 03:35 PM

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